How to Become an Intimacy Director/Coordinator: Pathways, Certification, and Finding What’s Right for You!

The allure of the new profession of intimacy direction and coordination is undeniable – it combines the best of everything artists love about entertainment. It's a deeply empathetic and caring calling that tugs on the heartstrings of everyone wanting to create change and bring humanity and heart back to the business. 

It’s also a hot new specialty getting a lot of press! Shows like Bridgerton, Euphoria, and Sex Education are challenging the artistic possibilities for intimate stories that expand our culture’s perception of how we can explore intimate narratives in entertainment. Pardon the pun, but becoming an Intimacy Director or Coordinator is a sexy proposition. 

No matter what led you here, we’re glad to see you! We love this work and are excited to watch as more individuals add their voices to help it grow.

With intimacy work being such a new profession, a lot of people wonder what it actually looks like to build a career as an intimacy professional and where they should start. So, we’re going to break it down. Here are some things that we think you should know if you’re planning to pursue intimacy work as a career in the arts and whether certification is right for you. 

Don’t know what an intimacy director/coordinator is? Check out our post about it here!

What skills will you need as an Intimacy Professional? 

There are a number of skills that most Intimacy Professionals have in common which make them successful. Many Intimacy Professionals have gained the necessary skills over years through a wide variety of experiences, creative projects, research, and training. Here are some we think are absolutely essential:

Strong Communication

Communication is a core function of this role. Intimacy professionals are responsible for acting as liaisons and facilitators (sometimes in high-stakes situations!) so that all departments have the information they need to support the scene(s) of intimacy fully. 

Ability to Establish and Maintain Boundaries

Intimacy Professionals need to be safe themselves before they can advocate for the safety of others. The ability to communicate your own boundaries and needs without disrupting the collaboration is a good example for everyone else you are working with and will help create a culture where everyone’s boundaries are respected and needs are met. When an Intimacy Professional is emotionally safe and grounded they can then effectively support the actors as they rehearse and perform intimate and vulnerable material. 

Active Listening

An Intimacy Professional is a department head while also being a supportive and collaborative role. It's essential they be able to actively listen and be present to notes and feedback from directors as well as boundaries, needs, and creative ideas from actors without allowing their ego, biases, or past traumas to interfere with finding the creative solution that best serves the story and the team. 

Robust Self Care Practices

Taking care of yourself is a huge part of the work! Intimacy Professionals do a lot of emotional labor. The intimacy professional is a grounding force in a room and helps to hold and regulate emotions as they arise. The intimacy professional is often responsible for offering support when someone else is working through a difficult moment during an intimate scene. During this, the intimacy professional cannot use that rehearsal time to work through their own emotional response. Because of this, it is important to be aware of our own trauma responses and have robust self-care practices, so that we can show up in rehearsals prepared to support others, knowing that we have support systems in place for ourselves.

Background in Acting and Movement

We find that it is helpful when an intimacy professional has experience as a performer, actor, or movement specialist. In order to give effective notes, an intimacy professional must deeply understand how actors work and the level of vulnerability required when performing intimate material. Additionally, a strong movement vocabulary supports an intimacy professional’s ability to pivot rapidly and to come up with creative physical storytelling options that work within the performer’s boundaries and the director’s vision.   

Research Know-How and the Ability to Learn Quickly

This is a dynamic and ever-changing discipline. As intimacy professionals, we are never done learning, and curiosity and passion for learning serve us well in this new discipline. The representation and type of intimate stories we can tell is expanding thanks to the ability of an intimacy professional to use detailed research to tell more nuanced stories. 

Strong Business Sense and Time Management

Intimacy professionals are often part of the gig economy, meaning that it is rare to find someone with a multi-year contract. We often work on multiple projects at once and see peak times and slow times. As an independent business, intimacy professionals are responsible for setting their own rates, ensuring that they are paid, and managing their own schedules. We recommend spending time thinking about what a healthy financial plan looks like. 

What training will you need as an Intimacy Professional? 

SAG-AFTRA recommends that intimacy coordinators have, at minimum, training in the following areas: 

• Consent Training. 

• Anti-harassment/anti-sexual harassment training.

• Movement coaching and masking techniques.

• Proper use of modesty garments and barriers. 

• Mediation or conflict resolution training.

• Gender identity & sexual orientation training. 

• Anti-Racist/EDI training. 

• Bystander intervention. 

• Mental Health First Aid, Trauma Stewardship, or related training

At IDC, we love this list for both theatre and tv/film! Additionally, we recommend having a professional background in theatre or TV and film, depending on which you are pursuing.

For instance, if you are looking to become an intimacy coordinator, we recommend that you have some kind of television or film experience that will complement this role. On set life has its own rules, etiquette, workflow, and norms. If you aren’t familiar with how that machine works, it will be difficult for you to become a smoothly functioning gear in that system. This could look like experience as a day player, camera operator, director, actor, or production assistant. It could even be experience on a student or indie film to familiarize yourself with how a set runs! 

Intimacy Professionals are their own department heads, so it is imperative that they understand how the industry functions as a whole so that we are able to act as a liaison within the established systems. 

Do you need to get certified to do this work? 

The short answer is - Nope! Certification is a personal decision, depending on your goals, circumstances, and experience. Certification is not a requirement for success in this discipline, and should only be something you do if it feels right for you. There are plenty of people working as intimacy professionals in the field who aren’t certified by us – and that’s great! 

When we advise theater companies, film studios, and other organizations that employ intimacy professionals - we do not recommend requiring certification, as this can be a major barrier to equitable hiring practices. When looking for an intimacy professional, our recommendation is to use language that invites those who either hold certification or who have comparable professional training or experience to apply. This is what IDC does when hiring teachers, and our company’s culture and offerings have been enriched by our non-certified teachers just as much as by our certified ones. 

Ultimately, we believe that it is important to have qualified intimacy professionals for the sustainability of this position, and working without the necessary skills and training could cause significant harm. We encourage people to work within their integrity and find the tools that will best serve them on their journey in this career. There is no right or wrong pathway to this work. It's about understanding what you are capable of doing safely and trusting yourself enough to take on those projects with confidence. We encourage everyone to do lots of research to find what feels right for them. 

What to consider when deciding on certification?

At IDC, we think about our certification program as similar to a graduate or other advanced study program. In our program, participants receive advanced training and mentorship that supports their career development and growth. But certification, much like graduate school, is not the right choice for everyone. It can be a great tool to show potential employers the extent of your training and experience and works as a short-hand way to represent that the quality of your work is backed by a reputable organization. 

Here are some things to consider when deciding if certification is the right choice for you:

Access to Mentorship/ Advanced Training

Intimacy work is highly specialized work and does require advanced skill sets. Some individuals have access to advanced training through mentorship from a colleague or by working one on one with an intimacy professional. Others may be more isolated in their geography or social circles. 

Online classes or short workshops are a great way to start, but are closer to undergraduate level training rather than graduate-level training. A certification program offers long-form advanced training where instructors get to know their students and their work over a period of time. Additionally, in our program at IDC, certified professionals have access to community spaces after completing the program to continue troubleshooting and knowledge sharing. This builds community knowledge and shared confidence. 

There are also many open forum spaces on Facebook, or other social media sites where intimacy professionals are often very willing to lend a helping hand. Some individuals may be able to secure individual mentorship through a connection or via networking. IDC’s Consent Studio offers an online studio environment to connect with other passionate and like-minded individuals. Additionally, you may already have the advanced skills necessary from other experiences. Take stock of your current confidence level and deeply consider where you are strong and where you may need additional support, then seek out the mentorship* you think will help you grow.

*IDC believes that intimacy specialists deserve to be compensated for their time and expertise. Even if you find a mentor through an informal network outside of a training program, offer to pay them or barter with them for their time and mentoring. 

Expense/ Investment

Training of any sort (and especially in a new discipline) will require significant investments of money, time, and effort. And we recognize that each individual comes to this work with differing access to all three of these resources. We empathize with the need to feel confident that this investment will support future career success! 

Here are some questions to consider when thinking about the level of investment you are interested in making in your growth within a certification program:

• Are your career goals in line with the goals of the certification program?

• Does the program offer good training and mentorship in the areas you see yourself most needing to grow?

• How quickly do you anticipate being able to get gigs in your new chosen career? If you already have leads or connections your certification may pay for itself more quickly. 

• What financial aid options are available to you in that program?

• How are you planning to fund your training? Are you affiliated with an institution or community that would be willing to invest in your training? 

• Are you looking for a full career change? Or are you looking to advocate for change, build a culture of consent, and integrate it all within your current role?

• What type of investment are you most comfortable making? A certification program has a higher financial investment, but you invest less time getting where you want to go. On the other hand, you could find individual mentorship and participate in community spaces with little to no monetary investment, and instead put in a bigger investment of your time and personal research to get to a place where you feel confident stepping into the role of an Intimacy Professional. 

Industry Networking and Relationship Building

Getting a foot in the door of this industry can be extremely challenging, and unfortunately many employers are still relying heavily on personal recommendations or connections. This type of informal network can increase discrimination and gives an unfair advantage to those who have more industry connections than others.   

Because of the high prevalence of hiring decisions being based on informal networks, certification can be an important tool to help professionals demonstrate their qualifications in this role without needing access to those informal networks. 

A certification program is enticing to employers because it can offer transparency with regard to what is taught within that program, the qualifications of their instructors, and the skills that program candidates are required to demonstrate to achieve completion. At IDC, our certified professionals also engage in a renewal process to ensure they are staying up to date with the expanding needs of this discipline. 

Additionally, certification programs can provide a clear and accessible pathway to moving forward in this discipline. For those that are newer to this industry, or who do not have an active network that can support their career goals, certification and the network that comes with certification can leverage the brand name and connections to help get a foot in the door. This, in combination with increasing access to training for historically marginalized voices, can become a powerful tool for inviting new voices into this changing discipline. 

For individuals who are skilled at networking and self-promotion (and in our gig-economy industry, that’s an incredible skill to have!), they may not need this support as much. For these folks and individuals who are already well established in their communities, certification may not be necessary. These individuals may be better served by taking individual classes or workshops to help grow their knowledge and experience while continuing to work professionally.

Organization and Program Fit

When deciding if certification is the right fit, we recommend doing some research on the programs and organizations from which you want to take courses and/or become certified. Learn about the instructors of that program, their experience, and teaching style and pick the program that best suits your needs as a learner. 

Are you a confident online learner with your own spaces to practice implementation? Taking a variety of online classes may be a great fit for you! Do you need space and time to practice physical application? Make sure you find a program that offers enough in-person time that you’ll feel confident while working. 

The organization as a whole is also important. These courses can be a significant financial investment - so you may wish to do some research into the business practices and goals of the organization. We recommend learning about the mission, vision and values of each organization to see if they align with your own values. (Here are our Mission/Vision and Core Values.) 

Your tuition goes to more than just the one class - it allows the entire organization to operate, grow, and develop new content (like this blog post!)... so it’s best if you really believe in what they are doing and its impact on this industry.

What do YOU want?

Certification is a personal decision and what's right for you might not be right for someone else. For example, many who trained with the organization Intimacy Directors International (before their doors closed in 2019) have gone on to certify with us, and plenty of others have pursued work without certification and have extensive and fruitful careers.

Don’t let anyone else make the decision for or against certification for you. It's a big decision, and you owe it to yourself to take the time to reflect and connect with what you really want and need in the next stage of your life. We encourage everyone to take classes from a variety of organizations, whether or not they are seeking certification. It’s a great way to learn about different techniques, opinions, and thoughts about this discipline. 

Refining your Skills as an Intimacy Professional

Practice is always an essential part of this role. Here are some ways we recommend getting your reps in:

Get some friends together to practice staging simple moments of intimacy 

We recommend using this time especially to practice marking different things rather than going for a full performance. This is also a great way to get really strong on the basics. How specific can a hug be choreographed? Ask an actor to keep adding or changing boundaries. Pretend you're choreographing in the round, or that the camera will be moving during the moment. Make sure you are practicing active and ongoing consent and have some strong closure practices too! 

Watch shows that inspire you and practice describing the movements

As an intimacy professional, physical movement becomes a second language. It's our job to translate the director's vision into physical notes. How would you describe the way that actor is inhaling? How are their hips moving in relation to the camera? What is the physical quality and duration of that moment of touch? We recommend keeping a journal and writing down phrases that are effective. 

Practice saying “No” in your everyday life

Practicing clear boundary setting and saying no in your everyday life helps us become more confident when doing so at work. Try phrases like “no, but” or “no, and” to help you stay engaged and collaborative. We love saying no in low-stakes situations to build up our stamina. “No thanks, we don’t want to go out tonight - but we’re happy to stay in and watch a few episodes of the Dragon Prince!”

Work on low-stakes productions

If you’ve taken some classes, practiced with some friends, and feel confident in taking the next step - try looking for a project that has some simple scenes of intimacy. Is there a community or student show near you that has a hug or small kiss? Try using some of the tools you are learning to gain some reps. If the intimacy is more advanced, maybe this is an opportunity to shadow or assist an intimacy professional! Remember, you don’t need to be certified to start working as an intimacy professional, you just want to make sure you are always working in spaces you feel confident supporting, you are honest about your level of experience, and that you have your own network of support in case anything comes up that is outside of your comfort zone. 

Keep taking classes

Whether or not you are pursuing certification or already certified, continuing to take classes is a great way to expand your knowledge and your work. We also recommend taking classes from a variety of organizations and topics to expand your knowledge. Check out the end of this article for a list of some of our favorite places to take intimacy workshops. Download our Resource Guide for some additional inspiration.

Find your community!

At IDC we created a new (and free!) online community: the Consent Studio to help consent-forward artists connect with one another. Premium members of the Consent Studio also have access to every community education course we offer, in addition to accessing our growing community of professionals. 

Resources for Intimacy Professionals

As you’re getting started, we recommend downloading our Resource Guide, which is a great tool to expand your knowledge on many of the topics that intersect with intimacy work. There are so many facets to this industry, and this is a great tool to help you get started. 

The intimacy profession is full of incredible professionals and artists who are doing amazing work. If you want to become an intimacy professional, we recommend learning from as many organizations and artists as you can! 

Here are some of our favorite places to find workshops:

Intimacy Directors and Coordinators (IDC) - Hello! It’s us! Whether you're pursuing certification, looking at our Consent-Forward Artist program, or simply looking to join a community of like-minded artists, we offer a variety of workshops to support your training. Our instructors are some of the leading intimacy professionals from Broadway to Major Television sets, and they are so excited to share their work with you. We look forward to seeing you in a workshop.

We also encourage you to explore these other amazing organizations (listed alphabetically):

Additional Industry Resources

Intimacy professionals are receiving amazing support from a variety of organizations. For Television and Film specifically, we recommend SAG-AFTRA’s resources for intimacy coordinators, The TIMES UP Guide for Working in Entertainment also has some incredible resources. 

We hope this helps you on your journey. Now, let's go make a difference in this industry!